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About Tillamook headlight. (Tillamook, Or.) 1888-1934 | View Entire Issue (April 3, 1913)
Tillamook Headlight, e CONCEALED PUNS. lames Russell Lowell Cleverly Hid One In a Review. QUAINT HUMOR IN A SNEEZE. ie Story That Is Told of the Witty Berio, Sydney Smith, and the Wager He Won While In the Pulpit—A luried Pun by Nathaniel Hawthorne. 'Horace E. Scudder in some remluis- fl^ces of James Russell Lowell point ed out that tbe poet critic even in his soberest essays would somet'xnes bide AWay a jest for tbe delectation of spe dally discerning readers. Thus In a Bgvlew of Richard Grant White's e«il- tlon of Shakespeare. Lowell remarked lBcidentally: g®“To every commentator who has wantonly tampered with tbe text or ■BBacured It with bis inky cloud of para phrase we feel inclined to apply tbe quadrisyllable name of tbe brother of Agis. king of Sparta." ^K’rofessor Felton of Harvard, we are told, was tbe first to remember or dis cover that tbe name of Agla' brother was Eudamidas. ttA more opaque mystification Is con- ttUied in a passage in the first chapter of Nathaniel Hawthorne's “Our Old ^ome”—opaque only because be pur- ggeely seeks to conceal every clew to the fact that a pun is buried beneath the surface. MYbe chapter Is headed "Consular Ex- gfcrlcnces.” Speaking of tbe lights and Shadows of the consul's office at Liver- Mol. where be was stationed during the presidency of Franklin Pierce, ^fliwtborne dwells with special pleas- Bte on tbe visits of a young English iMend. "a scholar and literary amateur, between whom and myself there sprang up an affectionate and, I trust, not UBnsItory regard.” ■KThis friend used to come and sit or swnd by the Hawthorne fireside, "with ilcb kind endurance of tbe many Hugh republicanisms wherewith I as- qBiled him aud such frank and amiable ^Lertlon of all sorts of English preju- IKes and mistakes, that I understood hh countrymen infinitely the better for hkn aud was almost prepared to love the lntensest Englishman of them all for bis sake. It would gratify my cber- >d remembrance of this dear friend I could remind him without offend ing him, or letting the public know it, t<a introduce Ills name upon my page. Bight was the illumination of my Hteky little apartment as often as he Sflde bis appearance there.” '«■he casual reader never suspects s*)t Hawthorne has deftly accompllsb- ed his purpose. It does not occur to M bi that Bright, the apparent adjective that so cunningly begins a sentence and therefore achieves tbe right to a capital initial, may be alternatively raad as a proper noun. Benrv A. Bright was. in fact, Haw- tlfcrue's only Intimate friend in Liver peel He was a man of wealth and po sition In that town, a dilettante who bpd published for bls own amusement ■ botanical manual, "The English ybwer Garden." With Hawthorne he «fluid frequently call upon tbe local Hnkseller, Henry Young, making tise of .« little nook In the rear of tbe sbop topexamlne and discuss tbe recent pub- ■htions. This came to be known as Hawthorne's corner. ^flhere is a story told about Sydney flllltb that represents him as carrying Bconcealed pun Into the pulpit with Mb). Tbe most familiar version is that flpl ch Lord Houghton used to tell, when settled at his small living in Yorkshire. Sydney willingly assisted Mg brethren in that neighborhood in ^bir clerical duties. On one occasion bJ dined with the Incumbent on the ^■ceding Saturday. The evening ■fcsed in great hilarity, the squire. Brsbaw by name, being conspicuous ■ bls loud enjoyment of tbe visitor's MONSTER HEADDRESSES. 1 Woman at Ona Time Wore Floats el Vessels In Their Hair. Marie Antoinette bud a passion for extraordinary Lead dresses. Oue struc ture that site invented was forty-five Inches iu height aud was composed of many yards of gauze aud ribbon. From tbe folds sprang bunches of roses, aud tbe entire edifice was surmounted by a waving plnuie of white feathers. It Is recorded that wbeu Maria Theresa re ceived a portrait of her daughter wear ing this headdress she exclaimed: “This is no daughter of mine! It is the portrait of au actress!” The Duchess de Chartres, determined to surpass the queeu. designed a head dress two inches higher. It was made up of many plumes waving at the top of a tower. Two waxen figures, repre senting tbe little Comte de Beaujolais (tbe brother of Louis Philippe) In his nurse’s arms, were worn as ornaments. Beside them a parrot picked at a plate of cherries, and tbe wax figure of a black boy reclined at the nurse's feet. On different parts of tbe tower were tbe initials of the duchesse's busband, her father and her father-in-law, made from her own hair. At this time France and England were at war. In a naval engagement the French frigate Llcorne struck her fiag. but the Belle Poule, another French vessel, crippled the Hector, au English man-of-war. As the French men were about to board two English vessels bore down to their consort’s assistance, and the Belle Poule sailed away. Tbe English fleet returned to Plymouth with two prizes, the Llcorne and a French lugger. The French, although they had lost a frigate, proclaimed a victory. The queen and her women wore headdress es that represented the Belle Poule un der full sail plowing a sea of green gauze In pursuit of the English frigate. This construction was known as the "coiffure Belle Poule.” The wife of an English officer living in Paris deemed the beaddress an in sult to tbe English navy and deter mine«) to resent it. At tbe next public occasion therefore she appeared carry ing on her head five English line of battle ships, a French frigate and a lugger, An arrangement of silk and gauze represented Plymouth harbor, which the English ships, with their prizes, were entering. Each vessel car ried a streamer that bore Its name, and on the edifice at tbe back the word "Plymouth” appeared in glittering beads. Tbe audacity of the spirited English woman struck every one dumb except the chief of police, who invited her ts cross the frontier at her earliest con venience.—Youth’s Companion. MEANING OF “POTLUCK.” One Plunge of the Ladle, and Take What You Get. The real origin of the word 'pot- luck” Is unknown to most of tbe peo ple who use it. In Limoges, France, however, one runs Into potluck Itself. In a certain corner of that quaint city of Jostling roofs there Is still segregat ed. much as If In a ghetto, a Saracen population, probably a remnant of tbe wave of Saracens that swept over Eu rope hundreds of years ago. Here they live in tbelr crooked, narrow streets, following old customs banded down from generation to generation. There are many butcher shops In the quarter, and outside of each steams a great pot of soup over a glowing brazier. In each pot stands a ladle as ancient as tbe pot. When a customer comes with a penny, in goes tbe ladle and comes up full of savory broth and chunks of meat, odds and ends that tbe butcher has bad left over And wbat comes up tbe cus tomer has to take. One csd Imagine bow anxiously tbe hungry urchin or the mother of seven must eye tbe In exorable ladle and bow a pretty girl might get another draw from tbe butcher's boy. At any rate, "to take potluck” means to take what you get and suy nothing, whether the pot is In Limoges or in the Hat of the man who eagerly Invites 1 am very glad that 1 have amused a friend of bis youth to dinner.—New L" said Sydney Smith at parting. York Sun. ■t you must not laugh at my sermon Givea Warning of a Storm. borrow.” In the bay of Biscay frequently dur I should hope I know tbe difference tween here and a church,” remarked ing the autumn and winter In calm weather a heavy sea gets up and rolla ) squire a little tartly perhaps. I'm not so sure of that" in on the const four and twenty hours before the gale which causes It I'll bet you a guinea on it” arrives and of which It la the prelude. ^Take you." said the divine, text day the preacher ascended ths In this case the wave action, generated ps of tbe pulpit apparently suffering on the other side of the Atlantic by the bi a severe cold, with his bandker- wind, travels at a much greater rate lef to his face, and at once sneezed than that of the body of disturbed air I the natn« “Kershaw!" several times and thus gives warulng of the coming Various intonations. This Ingenious storm bmption of tbe readiness with which ban would recognize bis own name So Unreasonable. Bounds unintelligible to the ears of “Rhe’s been very busy telling me how lers proved accurate. The poor to rear my baby." Mre burst into guffaw, to tbe acaa- "Weiir I of tbe congregation Tbe minister “But she got Into a perfect panic er looking at him with stern re- when I asked her to take care of the Meh prockMed with his discourse child for a couple of days You know I 1 won tbe bet. was suddenly called out of town."— InoVber version makes tbe victim Washington Herald Sydney's Jest a certain Sir Archi- Id Macdonald, equerry ts tbe Duke A Frank Admission. Sussex. Sir Archibald said to the “I snp|m»e you are interested In ro Sate, who was then a canon at Bl form.” «aid the <oum tentious citizen. Il's cathedral: “No," replied Farmer Corntoeeel; "1 I will -come some Sunday to beat approve of It But I can't any that It's I preach." If you ds I shall name you from the generally expressed In a way that makes It as interesting ao tbe eontin pit" waa tbe reply ued stories"— Washington Star. Indaunted by this threat. Sir Archl- d went to St Paul's. WewM Het lydsey entered tbe pulpit, looked CflBbleigb-Too wouldn't marry Mta« rd at tbe baronet and »aa xeiaed Roxy for her money, would you. Vp- |h a wonderful fit of sneezing Dewwe How elee can 1 Ae-chle. Ar-ch>e. Ar-chie!" was bow aoo? toonded In Sir Archibald's ears, and get IH-leod»!) Answers cssld not help a sudden laugh of •gninom-W.iaam 8 Wshh In Boo THE LITERARY RIVALS. A S»rio-Comic Sc»ne B»twe»n Victor Hugo and tha Two Dumaaaa. It Is perhaps omy natural that -Mr. A. F. Davidson, the latest biographer of Victor Hugo, annoyed by the extrava gant eulogies of tbe poet that his pred acessors had written, should lay a good deal of stress ou tbe great French man's faults aud failings. Of these the chief was undoubtedly vanity. Victor Hugo was Inordinately vain—vain at one moment with a superb assiiram-e that almost dignified vanity itself, at another with an uneasy jealousy at once petty and absurd. Some years ago in a review of the work of the. two Dumases, father and sou. au anecdote was related that well illustrates this trait. Both of the Du mases, Victor Hugo and several others were chatting together when a foreign gentleman was presented, who made an excellent impression on every oue until tbe moment of bls departure. Ax he bowed In taking leave he addressed himself to tlie most celebrated mem bers of the group and assured them of bis pride aud satisfaction In having met “the greatest poet, tbe greatest ro mancer aud tbe greatest dramatist of France." "A little unthinking of our friend to address bis parting compliment entire ly to me. was it not?" reuiarketl Victor Hugo complacently. The others looked at each other, and he caught the look. "The dramatist—that was you. then, you think. Dumas?" he inquired of Du mas tbe younger in an ominous voice. Then a thought even more appalling oc curred to him. and without waiting for a reply he turned to Dumas the elder. “The romancer, monsieur the ro mancer! Do I understand you to sup pose that by 'the greatest romancer' It vvns you who was designated? Reply, fnotisieur!"- he demnnded. His brow was thunderous, and the company held their breath, but the elder Dumas, who never found himself at a loss, answer ed with an easy laugh: “But certainly it was I. and the drnmntist was my son How should It be otherwise? You did uot Invite the gentleman to dine, and I did. You are not a cook—a good cook, a veritable prince among cooking aninteurs-nnd I nni! His compliments, such as they are. are for us, bis prospective hosts. But they are only payment In advance for the sahide marselllalse of peppers stuffed with minced crab meat which 1 have promised to prepare for him and which I invite you to share also " The great and only Hugo shrugged a tolerantly contemptuous shoulder. “No; I have had enough of the so ciety of this gentleman who speaks from the stomach, not the bend." he stated grandly. “Yon may appreciate It, Dumas, but I do uot. It Is true—I am not a cook." A Cheap Marine Teleecope. Make an oblong narrow box out of four pieces of quarter inch board about two feet long by sixteen Inches wide, and fit a piece of clear, cleau glass across one end. held in place by brass beaded tacks driven Into the wood and overlapping tbe glass. Fill all tbe cracks with sealing wax to keep out the light Then plunge tbe glass end two or three Inches Into tbe water and look through the open end. Tills simple marine telescope la made on the principle of the more elalsirate glasses through which to look at the famous gardens under the sea near tbe Catalina Islands — Christian Herald. Soaking Salt Fish. There Is a wrong as well as a right way to freshen salt mackerel and other salt fish Those who are familiar with evaporation processes know that salt falls to the bottom Now. if you place your mackerel with tbe akin side down In the pan the salt falls to the skin and remains there If placed with the flesh aide down the salt falls to the bottom of the pan. ami the mackerel is freshened by tbe soaking In water. as it should be The Scholar. Dr. Evans, a witty member of the parliament at Melbourne, was an old man, and tbe other members Jokingly spoke of him as belonging to tbe era of Queen Anne Once while making a speech he re ferred to Queen Anne and was greeted with cries of "Did you know her?" "What was sbe like?" “Yes. sir." retorted the doctor. "I did know her Tbe scholar Is contemiiorary with all time” Going to an Expart. When the butcher answered tbe tele phone the sbrlll voice of a little girl greeted hi tn: "Hello! Is this Mr Wilson?” “Yes. Bessie." be answered kindly "What can I do for you?" "Oh. Mr Wilson, please tell me where grandpa's liver la! The folks are oat and I've got to put a hot flannel on It. and 1 don't know where It la"— I ji dies' Home Journal i WHAT IS SOLUBLE? Everything In the Universe Is, Say the Scientists. GLASS DISSOLVES IN WATER. And if a Bar of Gold Bo Placed Upon a Bar of Load Each In Timo Will Ab- sorb Particles of tho Other—Solid Matter a Maes of Whirling Atoms. What is soluble? Sugar lu water? That's easy, although you have to be born iu Kentucky to perform the trick iu tile mint julep trade. Is glass soluble lu water? Offhand we say no We are wrong. It is You can try it yourself. Take an ordinary eight ounce water glu«s. a glass that holds eight ounces, grind it up to a ¡towder and pour the ¡>Qwder into another glass full of water and stir it up Then analyze It. or. If this is above you. take it around the corner to a man who can. aud be will tell you. and with truth, that the wa ter In that glass had actually dissolved 3 her cent of the glass powder. Glass is soluble, nearly us soluble us bichloride of mercury Everything is soluble in wuter Furthermore, everything in the uni verse is soluble iu everything else in the universe. That is what they ure telling us now. and the men who tell us cun perforin an astonishing experi ment right before your eyes to make you more than half believe them. They take a bar of gold and a bar of lead They lay one bar on top of the other Then they sit around and smoke cigars and wait, say a year Then they take the two bars and analyze them chemically. In tile gold bar they find lead In the lend bar they find gold. Gold and lead are soluble In each other. If you haven't time to wait a year to find out. the trick cun be performed In much shorter time. All that has to be done is to raise the temperature of the two bars to a very ordinary heat—say 300 or 400 degrees F. With tills added heat the same results are reached over night. Traces of gold are found all the way through the lead bar and vice versa The theory Is that all substances, whether gold or butter or leather, are really composed of the smallest kind of small particles—about the size of the particles making up the tai) of the late lamented cornet, which were described lis the elemental essence of nothing ness. These particles, which are as much bigger than an atom as a moun tain compared to h mouse, are in mo tion. revolving rouud each other faster than thought, much the same us tbe planets revolve round tlie sun. If our microscopes were big enough a chunk of gold would appear to our eyes much tbe same ns a fly hopper full of flies (the kind of hoppers they keep In the cheese department of a country grocery store In August). The particles are buzzing and Jumping niu< h tbe same as these flies When a liar of gold conies In contact with n bar of lead their respective re volving buzzing particles get together and get acquainted. They go explor ing and are lost, and before long, in stead of having a bar of pure lead und a bar of pure gold we have two bark of alloyed metals This discovery lias upset all sorts of scientific calculations if everything Is soluble iu everything else—and scien tists can go on duplicating the gold lend example without end—how can anything exist In a pure state? It can’t Chemists dls|>euse chemicals under tbe label “C. I’.'' or “chemically pure." but If a Dr Wiley got after them on the strict letter of tbe new theory he would send them all to jail, because the chances are tlmt all alleged pure chem icnls have absorbed a little of every thing they came In contact with in tbe process of tbelr manufacture. Analytical chemists of thia day have to take into account tbe amount of glass any given solution contains, when they are testing that solution In test a tube. Otherwise their results wouldn't count for anything. This discovery suggests an explana tion of that mysterious element In out door life, scent. How can a bound trace his quarry? Everything a man toik-bea dissolves a little of him When Ids foot falls on tbe ground he leaves >i trace of himself In warm went tier or |n Wet weather be leaves a bigger trace than In cold or dry weather, A hound follows a damp trail L’atinlly his sense of smell is not acute eisiugb to follow a dry trail The suggestion that a fugitive pur sued by a bloodhound actually dis solves a few particles of himself every time his foot touches the ground. Just as though he were a lump of augur In water, aonnda fanciful, but It la np- pea ring more and more reasonable It» tbe light of recent reaerin lies F. I Anderson In Chicago Record Herald A BADLY ABUSED WORD. THEIR MOTHER TONGUE. Many Base Usas to Which "Infinite” Io Put Nowadays. As It Was Spokan by th» EngliahmM and tha American. Au American iu Loudon, living in • private hotel, inquired of au English acquaintance bow it was that «Mrary oue in tbe bouse immediately wog- uized his nationality, in "Vagabond Journeys" Mr. Percival Pollard recorfla tbe conversation. The Englishman looked at our Atunr- Icau friend for a moment aud tiun ventured this definite explanation: “Gh, of course, don't you see. they would know you. you see, like a shot I mean to say, you see. that It's quite odds ou, don't you see, that you are. that you are. you see! Eh?” The Americau chewed ou this a little and then remarked, apropos of noth ing: "Say, ain't it a flue thing we speak the same language? Yes. sir! Thata what keepa the two countries ao close together the language. Still, as I waa saying. 1 can't make up my tnind whether It's my feet or my language. I’d like to have a real heart to heart talk witli you about some of these lit tle details of tile language that blnda us together, tongues across the s«-a. as It were Come aud have lunch with me at the Cecil." "Quite sorry! I Just went and had a bone an hour ago." “Beg pardon ?" “OU. I mean to say. of course, don't you see. I had a grilled boue at the club." “Well. there's another thing I'd like to talk to you about when you have time some day That's tbe exact defini tion of the week end. I’ve noticed ♦bat ' hen your lawyer or stickbroker. and . .. forth, says he's going away for the week end it means that he’s lenv- Ing Thursda.v evening and pot show Ing up again until Tuesday morning. There goes a boy from E-ton; 1 cun tell him by bls clothes." “From where?" "E-ton." repeated the Yankee. “Ac cents on the 'ton,' doesn't it?” “No: don’t you see, it's Just Eton." “Oh. rimes with ’meetln',’ eh. drop ping the 'g' carefully nt the same time ALFINE CURLING as the voice uud otherwise concealing Almoat Surgical Skill Used on the les the alphabet as much ns possible? Well, well!" and tbe American pullet! to Make It Perfect. Scotch players regard the condition* up his horse “Ain't it great wo speak of Alpine curling as HOinewhut too lux the same language?” uriou» The Ice is almost too perfect, and the tactics that proved successful THE EMPEROR’S STAR, on the rough Ice of a Scottish pond have to I m * abandoned In favor of mure It Simply Had to Be Put on the Cross subtle methods on the Church Spiro. The ordinary visitor to the Alps has Emperor William la tbe busiest man very little idea of the science and work in Germany. He revises or approves ail which are necessary to Insure a good decisions In public matter , su:, ervljes rink, and the Scotch curler who has all art and architecture and led tree been accustomed to the rough Ice form everybody, In Illustration of the def- rd by a few nights* frost Is somru h.it ereiice paid to his wishes In even tire startled when lie sees an army of Ice smallest details, they , tell In Berlin, men working through the night. A writes Mr, Siimuel G. Blythe in Every rink in the Alps Is a costly business body’s Magazine, the story of tbe star The ground Is carefully leveled In the above the cross oil the spire of the Em spring, ami after the first tall of snow peror William Memorial church. a squad of Icemen tramp (he snow Of course the knlser Insisted on re down as evenly as |M>sslb1e. The flood vising the plans of the church. Tbe ing is done in a series of elaborate architect brought tbe plans to him. and stages, which can be carried out only the kaiser scratched out wbat h* did when the sun is shining. not like and made such additions us be The secret of good Ire is to go slowly fancied before he gave them tbe Impe This w»is proved by a clever ex|»erl rial O. K. Tbe church was built. ment The discovery of this was due There was to lie a big gilt cross the to Rudolph Bauman, perhaps the I «-st spire, and It appeared In its proper Iceman In the Alps. He flllrd two place. But. much to the general aston wooden tubs with water, and the II rat ishment. when the cross was put up a froze land In a night The second was large, many ¡minted star was raised allowed to fill gradually, drop ' v drop, above It on a heavy rod. Tbe Berliners throughout a fortnight The two blocks could not understand tbe star. They of lee were then put In the sunshine, Inquired Tbe architect said tbe kaiser and whereas (In* Ice that had l»eeii hud added tile star to the plans. formed In a single night disappeared The plaiu* were exatulued. Then It Wit'll II >i week, the other block sur was found that In revising them tbe vlved for three weeks kaiser had let fall a drop of ink from The h e Is carefully doctored every bls ¡s-n. which lilt the pa|>er Just above night with the skill of a first class sur tbe cross Tbe architect studied a long geon Small holes are trimmed and time over this blot of Ink. There could scooped out with a knife They are la- no ap|>eal. no Inquiries. He finally then filled with flnelv powdered Ice decided that the blot of Ink signified • and sprinkled with boiling water star above the cross, and he put tbe result Is an almolutely even siirfu star there, making it to correspond as good Ice London Times nearly as possible with the outline of tbe blot. The star is still there. What Is happening to the word "infi nite?" It used to have great aud rare associations aud serve great needs Now I meet It everywhere uud with every possible application, Oue bou- net is infinitely more beautlful than another, one brand of wine Infinitely preferable to the next, lie has an lufi- nite desire to see her; she would iiifi- ultely prefer a hobble skirt to oue with gores One novel is infinitely superior to Its predecessor; u character In it in finitely prefers game to domestic fowl There is no association too trivial for it. no use too petty. Our Isioks mid our newspapers alike bristle with mis used "Infinites.” The word, like Lau rence Sterne and Lord B.vrou. Ims be come a social literary success, and no worse fate can befall a great author or a great word. It Is taken up by the fashion papers mid by society Journals, and this season's styles are usually in finitely prettier than the last. Infinitely pretty! Not ouly careless Journalistic folk who like to produce mi emphati effe.'t —at any cost are guilty My learned friends put It to common use So do 1 when I forget We are infinitely obliged nowadays to one who gives us n lift of a few blocks and Infinitely grateful for our Christmas preseuts Our greatest and best authors vie with one another In bringing this great word down from its high estate, and it is only n few days since 1 heard a most fastidious man of letters lecturing in Boston say that the Sunday supple ments would be infinitely more dive t ing If something—1 forget wh it- w< e different The robin'« nite in "Flo Madeod" is "infinitely winsome" Even ns critical a writer as Mrs Anne Douglas Sedgwick s|ie; l s of n heroine “Infinitely nuilleahle” through ive m il of a fat young German musician as feeling "Infinite compassion." That, to be sure. 1« lie fer than Arnold Bennett's description of n woman as "intiuitely sty lisb."—Serf liner's A Handy Measure. If you have a pint Jug and wish to measure off half a pint with tolerable accuracy It 1« useless to try mid do so b.v guessing when Hie Jug h> half full A fletter way Is to till the Jug until the contents Just reach to the upper end of tile Isittom of the vessel mid lust to ieh the lip nt ttie lower end of i ie m< ¡th In till« way the sp ice In the ¡did Jeg I» pnicth ally < til Into two equal ¡«irti ns. each half representing the space taken by half a pint Observation« of the Caddie The cuddie s « hastening lufliience on th<‘ «' oik eil of players has nrmler it ■i IH“'lot a I example* <>llr of the of fhese b* the following *U fiat sort of game dues Mr Jocui pin; '/*’ 'Th* ■ aifiii.i play mine ’ "I’ iii going «ml wjili tiirn tumormw I snf>|H»?<e I shall l«e:t filin’* ”Nii. ye will nut ’’ Windsor Maga Xllie The First Hinge. The first hinge was probably that st the oyster The thorny oyster of the Pacific cast has Its two shells Joined together by n hinge as good as say found In nuy hardware simp of the country There are other binges found In nature, but thill of the oyster reach es the highest (lerfectlon We have made Utile advance upon thia device In h II of our yenrs of ¡»iteutlug Bird In venting Hi Nicholas. An Expert. I never have any trouble with my gowns Tío» is that ?" ' Voli see. .ny huAlatiul lielonga tc the fire depart merit.” •Welir* “And he <nn hook me up In for r-Jvw sumida" Washington Herald. Ska Had "Hsve voti any ninnarrieri daughter«, Wiedom. Mr« I *e Willoughby ?” asked the risi- “tJu you nofke that yunr son his tor M»fl Mutakt. nmtfy lenrued anything In e«»|lege7* "Oh. yea. Mr Vsnrterhlooiq. My Putting It Up to Him. wOn my wny tn < burrh I pk*feM up “Ves lie h »* learned that my ideas daughter Minnie ws* unmarried last "Patleinv is a virtue.” said the man. a button And put it In rny «hnnge po fe are Ilwr*e of ati old fug\ and (hat he week liv J'idiu- Cutteill." replied the philosophically. et, «bere I had » quarter." «mild I** fnl*e to tils frirst If he did tint lad) Hart tere “True." replied bls wife, who thought M<prswl«»iui. my do hi* I h * m | («» bring me fu a realizatIon be ought tn I* earning more money R«rf it Ini*»* tbe • f pdlabtr condition* < 'hi* ago A Qu»ey. “And I'll provide the ¡«Hence for this ’nlwtjike?*’ Record llentkl F«lr I’stron The ¡»¡«ers say you han family If you’ll ouly provide tbe bus "Ko. found It! I ¡mt in tbe quar dle tus II here ky the ton Post IBs «Ifk- tie Detroit Free i’rews ter Judvr Yes Indeed Fair Patron— Well, my finto* I« going away for a >tiplg ef Borrow.ng Trouble. Calm Beier» Storr». days What kind of s »¡teclaI rate will “Ever since his wtfe baa brought suit "Why thia hush in the bouse this "It’s tieautlfill! l»ld you giake It you give me per ton?—Womau'a Heme for divorce tie has looked terribly wor elaborate tifUoeing about Y* yourself Y'~ New Orleans Times I temo Companion ried "Hah! Mother la getting ready to ask erat. -He oughtn't to worry she ll prob fattier for a little extra money.“— Good Foe an Os«aoional Bouguok. ably get It”-Houston Post I’ll tslxirgb Po«t. He Remembered. “He offers me a platonic frivndaBM Rhe Voti brute? W'heti f roti sen ted “Take It.” sd»lw«d ber girl bum a j.wtl'-Wme «Hence Is always hotter If thou tnkeet time Into thy affaire It tn m»rrj ron I «ain't think where my •until something belter couses atsap.' this truth spokes without < tiarlty - will allay aud arrange all tblugs. —Apul be id wa« lie <>n my shoulder «tear -Lusis»Ule Luur.vr JouruaL - Luüdvu , iwdsruA_____ Lie huw*